


Sunny Side Over Easy

by capncosmo



Category: Kamen Rider Kabuto
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-02-22
Updated: 2009-02-22
Packaged: 2017-10-18 02:14:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/183861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/capncosmo/pseuds/capncosmo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Somehow, Tsurugi thinking people come from eggs is just par for the course with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sunny Side Over Easy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lazulisong](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lazulisong/gifts).



> Spoilers for episodes 39-46. This starts ep 39-ish, when the story went all "Daisuke!" there for a while. Because I wanted it to fit somewhere _why can't I just write crackfic I'm so ashamed_. According to the [internet](http://www.wild-bird-watching.com/bird-egg.html), it is highly unlikely a bird's egg will hatch if cared for by a non-bird professional human. For lazulisong, who requested "TSURUGI LAYS AN EGG PLZ," on the occasion of her birthday. It's so cool I've finally lined up a fic with someone's birthday! I regret being unable to present it in person, but $1,100 in plane tickets is just a little... much.

Tsurugi keeps the egg wrapped in a tiny pink blanket. He insists he knitted it himself, and since it was the size of a potholder, he might have. Probably not, though. He talks to the egg. Her name is "Egune," which is just strange no matter how Kagami looks at it. And he _has_ tried. From several angles.

That's why he's crouched on the floor, eyes at the level of the table, and doesn't hear Renge coming.

"Sempai?"

"Augh!" He loses his balance, tipping over backwards and ending up sprawled at her feet.

"Sempai, I don't think Egune-chan appreciates you staring at her like that."

Kagami hauls himself to his feet, grunting as if he's actually was as old as the insanity around him makes him feel. "She doesn't _know_ I'm staring at her."

"It's still rude." Renge leaned around Kagami and picked up the egg, turning her body as she cradled it as if to shield it from Kagami. "It's okay, Egune-chan," she murmured, "Sempai is just regrettably unhinged."

"Which one of us is unhinged?" Kagami demands, but Renge doesn't answer, as Tsurugi has just returned, still in his soba outfit.

"Look, Egune-chan! Papa is back! Okaeri, Papa!"

Tsurugi rushes over to take the egg from Renge, adopting the same embarrassing baby-talk tone and telling it all about every single delivery. Kagami closes his eyes and tries to will away his headache.

*****

The egg had mysteriously appeared two days previous. Tsurugi had apparently woken up cradling it to his chest, and subsequently declared himself its father.

"You don't honestly think that it's yours?" Kagami had pressed.

"It has to be mine," Tsurugi had said, "otherwise its Mother or Father would have been around. Parents don't just abandon their children."

Kagami had his own thoughts about parents and abandonment, but had kept them to himself, knowing by now how futile it was to argue with Tsurugi. He had not, at the time, anticipated how crazy everyone _else_ would be. In retrospect, he probably should have.

*****

Egune is off white and mottled, probably a song bird's. Kagami wonders if it will actually hatch, and what will happen with Tsurugi if it does. He just wonders what's going to happen with Tsurugi in general.

"Egune-chan was so well behaved today," Renge was saying. "I wish I could have a little one of my own." She reaches over and tickles approximately where the egg's chin would be. "I'm still just a disciple."

Tsurugi beams proudly, and Kagami makes a mental note to worry about Tsurugi's and Renge's friendship more. "I owe you my eternal friendship for watching her," Tsurugi says grandly, having clearly forgotten completely how Renge's initial reaction was to get out the other ingredients for sukiyaki. "Although, it is you who should be getting the practice, wagatomo KaGAmi."

"Wha--?"

"For Misakinu's eggs," Tsurugi says, like he really thinks that's normal. "I won't forgive you if you're anything less than a model father."

Kagami hears the threat in that, like with so many other things since he started "dating" Misaki-san. "O-of course," he says.

Tsurugi looks pleased with that, and turns back to baby talking at the egg.

*****

Unsurprisingly, there had been no help from anyone else in his life.

Jiiya had sworn he wasn't behind it, which Kagami supposed was something, because the old man had been upfront about misleading Tsurugi into thinking he wasn't a Worm.

Misaki-san had wanted to hear nothing about Tsurugi, which meant he couldn't ask Tadokoro-san either.

Tendou had simply regarded him coldly and said families were about more than blood, which Kagami had had to admit, kind of a faux pas on his part.

Daisuke was nowhere to be found (probably would have just said how beautiful the egg was), and he hadn't been desperate enough to ask the Hoppers. Mostly because he didn't think they could be trusted on the subject of family relationships, given... Well, Kagami only suspected, but still. They were out.

Kagami missed Hiyori.

*****

Kagami asks Renge for a coffee and takes a seat at his usual table. Tsurugi sits across from him, singing some song Kagami has never heard before and is 90% sure he just made up. But, he admits, it's nice. It's a slow song, like a lullaby, and Tsurugi sways in time. Kagami feels himself doing the same.

"He really loves Egune-chan, doesn't he?" Renge says quietly as she sets down the coffee cup in from of Kagami. He nods in agreement, eyes not leaving Tsurugi. If there is one thing to be said about Tsurugi, it is that he never skimps on loving people.

*****

In a few days time, Kagami will find himself crouched down at eye level with the egg -- Egune-chan -- again. He will furrow his brow, wondering what to do, if he needed to do anything. He will decide to wrap the potholder blanket around Egune-chan tightly and set her under a lamp to keep her warm.

Each day that goes by without the egg hatching, Kagami will be simultaneously relieved and disappointed. He will tell himself over and over, there's no way he could take care of a baby bird properly. He will get angry, wondering why he ended up with the stupid egg in the _first_ place. He will feel guilty that he doesn't want this life Tsurugi nurtured to begin.

But mostly he will regret he couldn't love the little egg the way Tsurugi would have. Tsurugi, he will think sadly, would have made a great father. It will be a shame, a cosmic injustice, no matter how Kagami looks at it.


End file.
